Saturday, April 7, 2012

"Traditional Markers"

The other day I posted on facebook that I felt like I was spinning my wheels because I don't have a life filled with what I referred to as "traditional markers."

What I mean by "traditional markers" is the various points throughout life with which people mark and/or celebrate the passing of time: engagements, weddings, pregnancies, births...followed by anniversaries, birthdays, first days of school, graduations, and so on.

So. What about people who aren't married and have no children? How do we mark the passage of time? We have no sparkly rings to show off, no proposal stories. We have no meetings with caterers, tailors, printers, priests, or DJs. We have no countdowns. We have no expanding bellies to measure (well, maybe we do, but not because we are growing anything except a gas bubble and some subcutaneous fat). We have no nurseries to paint, no Lamaze classes to attend, no first teeth, words, steps, full nights' sleep to document.

Do not misunderstand. I am not lamenting or expressing regret over my lack of these markers (jury is still out about the marriage thing; I would still consider it if the right person actually bothered to show up in my life, but at this point I think Vladimir and Estragon might have a better chance at catching a glimpse of Godot than I do at finding a husband). No, I do not regret my life choices. What frustrates me is trying to decide how to mark progress when I live a life that hasn't followed "natural progression."

I guess it would help if the rest of the world stopped judging people's lives on it first. :-)

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