Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Weddings in the park: I have something NICE to say about that!

Two years ago I posted about the trend I was seeing in weddings that bucked tradition, and how I much preferred a casual affair over black-tie swank.

I still feel this way.

And in fact, about halfway between the time that post was written and today, I got engaged. The engagement has since been broken, but my wedding was going to consist of me, my groom, an officiant, and a laptop streaming the event from a beach in Thailand. I was going to wear a white halter dress, a la Marilyn Monroe's famous grate scene, my groom was going to be in shorts and a polo. And shoes? Who needs shoes on the banks of the Mekong river? Puh-leeze! If nothing else, it gave me a really convenient excuse not to have to endure the angry throngs upset that I refuse to let the DJ play either the hokey-pokey or the chicken dance at my wedding.


 This past weekend I had the great honor of attending the wedding celebration of Jennifer and Chuck Weber. Jennifer, the engine behind All Things Jennifer, is one of Buffalo's favorite bloggers and an all-around most excellent person. I have spent the last couple of days trying to explain to people just how much fun this wedding was, but I find myself getting flustered when trying to decide on a starting point. Do I start with the beautiful view from Porter on the Lake Park? The bounce house? Do I start with the bride's fabulous outfit? And even then, do I start with the red tulle petticoat, or the red hi-top Chuck Taylors? Do I start with the zombie vs. soldier cherry chip cupcakes? The TATER TOTS on the dinner buffet? The "guest book" involving Jenga tiles and a dictionary?

 It's all a bit much to try and sort out, and I end up prattling for a while before I wonder if I'll ever be able to recall all the details that made this a most excellent event. Just when I think I've covered it all, I remember the reply cards with song requests hanging around the DJ station (when's the last time you went to a wedding where they played "Gin and Juice?"), the hand-decorated mason jars that held a healthy amount of drink, and the karaoke (that I sadly had to miss thanks to my early morning wake-up call the next day). Even the presence of a million small children (something that normally brings me a fair amount of stress) didn't faze me, such was the fun I was having.

 Look. They had TATER FUCKING TOTS on the buffet. Nuff said. Best. Wedding. Ever. 

This, my friends, is what weddings are all about. Never once did I look at Jennifer and see the familiar shell-shocked, glazed-over, I'm-so-exhausted-but-I'm-going-to-fake-it forced smile I've seen in other brides. Not once did I see her dragged around by her mother. There was no formal reception line. No structured wedding party intro. No bridezilla. No long, drawn-out ceremony involving readings and sermons. There was no shoving of cake in each other's faces. Just two people, very in love and wanting to share that with 100+ of their friends and family by throwing a super fun party. Every wedding should be so devoid of pretense and obnoxiousness.

 Say what you will about tradition, but I'm always in favor of bucking it - particularly when it involves tater tots.

 Congratulations, Jen and Chuck! May life be long and merry for you both!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Just another waste of legal resources

...and a few more dollars for the psychotherapy industry for these poor people.

I just can't wrap my head around this whole thing.

1. Who would think to accuse a GAY man of raping his DAUGHTERS?
2. Who would BELIEVE it?

I fucking hate people sometimes.